A Heart Like His

I have begun to study the life of David, with the help of Beth Moore and only a week into this study I am excited for it and excited to lead the girls through it.

The phrase that keeps ringing in my mind is "David was a man after God's own heart." I keep wondering what made God able to say this to Samuel. What made David different from his brothers that God said Samuel this is the one to anoint as king. I mean David's father didn't even want to bring him to Samuel at first, his own father was saying my youngest son, the shepherd could not be the one God has called to be king. But yet, he was the one God choose.

I want to know what makes David a man after God's own heart, because I want to be a woman after God's own heart and so I have been thinking of what I know of the life of David. And I keep thinking none of it makes him special. I mean yes, killing Goliath with a stone, that makes him special but I don't think that is why God called him. What resonates (you should have seen me trying to spell that word-that's why I don't use big words often) with me about what I know about David's life is that he was always honest with God. He worshipped God in the good, he didn't worry about the "churchy" things of worship he just presented a pure heart before God. He ran from God, he questioned God, the psalms are full of true and honest emotions and I believe that is why God choose David - to show us that he could use someone with emotions such as ours, with human desires and actions to lead the way for Jesus. David wasn't perfect, you don't have to be a scholar to know that, but we know that from his line, came our Savior. That this imperfect man was called a man after God's own heart. And so I think what God is a calling us to is to offer our imperfect lives up to him completely and to be honest with Him in every moment.

Expect more on the life of David to come. As I have 9 more weeks of study ahead of me :) Senior high girls, I am excited to lead you in this study as we all learn to have hearts like His :)

Ramblings

I am one month exactly from turning 26 and it is scaring me to death. I never thought this is where I would be at 26 and to be honest 26 is making 25 look a whole lot better. There are so many things that I thought would be different; I thought I would have seen more of the world, I thought I would be married and maybe even starting a family, at times I would have thought I would have had a book published by now, I have had so many different plans for my life but there is one problem with all those plans – they were MY plans and I had forgotten about God’s plans for my life.

God’s plans were to bring glory to His name. And that scares me because I’m afraid I have even messed up His plans. But that’s the great thing about our God we can’t mess up His plans. Oh trust me I’ve taken paths that I am sure He has sat and watched me from above just saying “Don’t do that” probably even screaming “don’t answer the phone call”, “don’t date that boy”, “don’t make that choice” in my eyes I have SO messed up His plans. But I serve an amazing God who has taken all of my mistakes and is using them for His glory. For I am a sinner, I am still making mistakes but what brings God glory is that every morning I wake up and I proclaim that in that day I am going to live for Him and strive to do my best. He doesn’t expect me to be perfect – for no one but Jesus can be perfect. Because I choose to pick up the pieces of this life that I have broken and I choose to hand them to Him and allow Him each day to put me back together again and make me whole. And so at a month away from 26 I haven’t accomplished all that I want to but I believe that I have accomplished all that God wants me too.

Recently I have been inspired by the lives of two women who in their passing left a legacy of love and a life well lived behind. I regret that I never truly got to know either but I gladly have been inspired by their stories. So as I face 26 head on in the next month (yes, it may take me all month or more to accept it) I will do so knowing that God is leading the way and giving me examples to follow. While there are things I hope to accomplish or hope that happen in the next year, I know they may not and I will accept that knowing that God knows what’s best for me. Maybe I’ll sit here again next year wondering how could I have gotten here without accomplishing much but hopefully I next year I will be saying – “What an amazing year with God” even if it’s not what I expect out of life.

I know this is a lot of rambling but tonight I just felt this deep desire to just write – so there it is.

Orginally written: January 8, 2009

Rejoice

Today I stood and cheered with a crowd to celebrate that one of the most amazing woman of God I have ever known made it home.

Dana was beautiful and her spirit was even more beautiful. I regret that I never got to study the Bible with her but feel blessed to have known in the small way I did. Today Barry asked us to take all of our memories, all of the ways Dana had touched our lives and share them with others. We were challenge to move slowly today and share the stories. This is my story.

I remember Dana’s smile more than anything and her laughter. My best memory of Dana is at a friend’s wedding shower. While I can not share the stories we shared over that brunch (they are not appropriate for everyone) I can share that I don’t think there was a moment that whole afternoon our table wasn’t laughing hysterically. We weren’t laughing at Dana we were laughing with her as she shared precious stories of her wedding and first few years with Barry. But Dana always had a smile that could light up any room. Whether it was in Roanoke after a “gazillion” (Dana’s exact word and probably mine too) softball games or just passing in the church hallway I will always remember the joy Dana had.

Last night another part of Dana’s life inspired me. As I flipped through pages of her beautiful scrapbooks. I don’t think there was anything Dana and Barry hadn’t done in life. They took every adventure that came their way, whether good or bad and enjoyed every minute of it. They embraced life to the fullest. Dana is an inspiration to me as a writer, as a Bible study teacher, as a friend, and as a child of God. To love deeply, to enjoy the small moments and to take LOTS of pictures and scrapbook them all.

So as Barry encouraged us to live out the legacy we knew of Dana and maybe me making a New Year’s Resolution a few days early I am committing to rejoice always. To never let myself get to serious. But to always be able to laugh at myself. To sit with friends and enjoy every minute of their company. To take any adventure that comes my way. I know many of you reading this probably didn’t have the privilege of knowing Dana. But as we celebrated her life today I just want to encourage you to laugh, to love, and to enjoy every moment of life. You never know when God will call you home – let’s make every minute count.

Orginally written: December 20, 2009

Christmas

Today I was reminded of what Christmas was all about. It was just a simple e-mail written by a friend, who was trying to take some time to remember why we celebrate, an attempt not to get caught up in all the craziness of Christmas. And it struck me, I hadn’t really taken any time to remember what it is all about. Somewhere among all the activities I was doing with my class and decorating my house for the first time and wrapping paper I haven’t taken any time to remember the reason we really celebrate Christmas. So tonight I am sitting here just staring at my nativity scene, thinking of all each person represented in the scene and all they sacrificed that first Christmas. Mary and Joseph, sacrificing their honor and reputation among their family and friends. Mary, even risking her life because she was pregnant out of wedlock. And then Jesus coming to this world to be rejected. Taking on the form and emotions of a human but not for human reasons. We as humans tend to do things for selfish reasons. But Jesus, being perfect as He is, did it for reasons that were totally unselfish. Reasons that only concerned only you and me. He came to be our forgiveness for sins. He came because He wanted us to have a relationship with Him and this was His display of His love for us.

What an amazing Christmas that first one must have been not because of the presents or decorations but because what Mary and Joseph knew about this baby they had brought into the world that night. Amazing because the angels were singing. And their message was the Gospel, the truth. That night, whenever it was, the first came to bow at His feet so that we may be given the opportunity every week, every day, every moment to worship, to take time and sit at His feet to learn, to listen, to love, and to be loved.

I think Linus may have said it best in A Charlie Brown Christmas when Charlie Brown asked if anyone knew the meaning of Christmas and Linus answered, “And there were in the same country shepherds, abiding in the field, keeping watch over their flock by night. And, lo, the angel of the Lord came upon them, and the glory of the Lord shone round about them! And they were so afraid … And the angel said unto them, “Fear not! For, behold, I bring you tidings of great joy, which shall be to all my people. For unto you is born this day in the city of David a Saviour, which is Christ, the Lord. And this shall be a sign unto you: Ye shall find the babe wrapped in swaddling clothes, lying in a manger.” And suddenly, there was with the angel a multitude of the Heavenly Host praising God, and saying, “Glory to God in the Highest, and on Earth peace, and good will toward men. That’s what Christmas is all about, Charlie Brown.”

That is what Christmas is all about and may we remember it as we step through each busy day this season and may we share the reason with all who may not know.

Orginally written: December 11, 2009

For Such A Time As This

For such a time as this. The famous words we all can quote from the story of Esther. Up until recently I always thought of “for such a time of this” moments as the big moments in our lives. God’s calling, meeting a significant other, making a big decision, or being a part of something big in the life of a church. But recently I have heard God whisper “for such a time as this” in the small moments. In praying with a youth, or worshipping with some old friends who remind me of days gone by, or the laughter of family members gathered together, or in the quietness of my own house, in all of these moments I have heard God say, “for such a time as this.” I always had thought God had called me to move home because he had a significant other for me here or some big ministry to do but none of those things have happened and to be honest lately I had been frustrated with God not understanding all that He had called me too. Don’t get me wrong since I have moved home I have seen him move in some big ways and I have learned and grown so much but I didn’t understand His will for me. Until I changed my view of His will. I realized His will for me is to bring glory to His name beyond that it will all be ok. And once I got that into perspective it was like I could hear Him say loud and clear “for such a time as this” in every little moment. And he has surprised me in the ways he has worked. Opening doors in unexpected ways. Giving me opportunity to speak of Him when I least expected it. Of course, He still hasn’t answered all of my questions but as long as I strive to bring glory to His name I know He is continuing to work.

I don’t know where you are tonight and how you have seen Him at work in your own life. But my prayer is tonight that you will see that His will for your life is to bring glory to His name.

Lord,
You are so amazing. You work in the big ways and the small ways and for that I thank You. Lord I pray tonight that everyone who reads this, including myself will see Your will for our lives as to bring glory to Your name and that we will strive to do that each and every day.
In Your name I pray,
Amen

Orginally written: November 16, 2009

The Presence of God

This morning I stood in the presence of God and I was more aware of it than ever. If you were in the Annex this morning you know what I am talking about. Not only during worship but even during Terry’s message I could just sense God moving. It was amazing. I’m not sure that I have ever been in a service or anywhere for that matter that I have felt God like that.

And as I have gone through the day I have just been awed by God. Everything from the little things to the big things have just made me stand in awe of how He is working. It has been a day where I have been aware of what He is doing for the church and for me. And I have just felt ever overwhelmed by His presence in every moment. And I don’t want to lose this feeling I have today. But as the stress and emotions of this week have already started to creep up and remind me that Monday is so close, I can feel myself losing the feeling. Losing sight of the fact that I am standing in His presence and I don’t want to lose that, I want to always feel His presence like I did this morning, to always know that I am standing before my God and King. I want to focus more on Him and what He would have me do and more on myself and “problems.” I want to remember that His heart is unselfish and that I was created in His image.

Lord,
May I remember that I am always standing in your presence. That you will remind me that you are always with me and always working in my life. Lord, for everyone that reads this I pray that they will feel you as I have today. Help us all to focus more on the way you would do things and less on what we feel is going wrong in our lives.
In Jesus’ name,
Amen
Savior I come
Quiet my soul remember
Redemptions hill
Where Your blood was spilled
For my ransom
Everything I once held dear
I count it all as lost
Lead me to the cross
Where Your love poured out
Bring me to my knees
Lord I lay me down
Rid me of myself
I belong to You
Lead me, lead me to the cross
You were as I
Tempted and trialed
You are
The word became flesh
Bore my sin and death
Now you’re risen
To your heart
To your heart
Lead me to your heart
Lead me to your heart

Orginally written: October 19. 2009

Loving God

We are told that Jesus said the greatest commandment is “Love the Lord your God with all your heart, soul, mind, and strength.” And the second is, “to love your neighbor as yourself.” I think we take this commandment for granted. How often do we really try to love God with everything we have? What would it look like if we loved God with everything we were? Recently, I have realized that our culture accepts loving God but putting other things first. Where do we get off doing this? Where in the Bible does it say love your job, boyfriend/girlfriend, friends, family and then love your God? That’s not something I have read in my Bible but we justify putting all of these things before God. We say it’s ok not to do our Bible study because we had to stay late at work or we had too much homework. We put spending time with our friends ahead of spending time with God. This isn’t the life we were called to live. Because allow ourselves to slip out of spending time with God then allows other sin to creep into our lives. These may not be big things – it usually starts small. A little lie here or there, hanging out with some people we know we shouldn’t, or losing our temper every now and again but if we continue to allow ourselves to live this life then bigger sins start to creep in. We are lying about everything, constantly angry, or spending all of our time with people who aren’t uplifting and who crush our Christian walk because we first let our walk with God slip away.

I have been thinking today what does it look like to love God with all our heart, soul, mind, and strength? While I know I don’t have all the answers I would like to share the ones I do have. The mind came easy – we take our thoughts captive to God. We don’t allow impure thoughts of any kind in our lives. Did you know that most sins begin as just a crazy thought and for a while we might push it away but eventually we let the thought linger for a while and then before we know it we have acted on that thought. And we are thinking to ourselves “How did I get here?” you got there by not stopping the sin when it was just a temptation – a thought. Also, to love God with all of our mind I believe we must be committing scripture to memory. I believe our strength is what I was talking about earlier – doing everything as if we were working for God. To give everything we do all we have. Now our heart and our soul are a little trickier and I haven’t gotten to answer I can share but I would also love to hear other thoughts on this topic. I have been consumed by this thought today of what would it look life if we loved God with all we had? As individuals? As Breiel Church (or whatever church you are a part of)? As the global church? Imagine all we could do if we each committed to loving God with all we have.

I think Shane & Shane say it best in their song Yearn – “Lord I want to yearn for you, I want to burn with passion Over you and only you.” Not only should that be our desire in life but that is God’s desire for us – that we would yearn for Him and only Him. That is my prayer for myself and for you.

Orginally written: September 10, 2009