Ramblings

I am one month exactly from turning 26 and it is scaring me to death. I never thought this is where I would be at 26 and to be honest 26 is making 25 look a whole lot better. There are so many things that I thought would be different; I thought I would have seen more of the world, I thought I would be married and maybe even starting a family, at times I would have thought I would have had a book published by now, I have had so many different plans for my life but there is one problem with all those plans – they were MY plans and I had forgotten about God’s plans for my life.

God’s plans were to bring glory to His name. And that scares me because I’m afraid I have even messed up His plans. But that’s the great thing about our God we can’t mess up His plans. Oh trust me I’ve taken paths that I am sure He has sat and watched me from above just saying “Don’t do that” probably even screaming “don’t answer the phone call”, “don’t date that boy”, “don’t make that choice” in my eyes I have SO messed up His plans. But I serve an amazing God who has taken all of my mistakes and is using them for His glory. For I am a sinner, I am still making mistakes but what brings God glory is that every morning I wake up and I proclaim that in that day I am going to live for Him and strive to do my best. He doesn’t expect me to be perfect – for no one but Jesus can be perfect. Because I choose to pick up the pieces of this life that I have broken and I choose to hand them to Him and allow Him each day to put me back together again and make me whole. And so at a month away from 26 I haven’t accomplished all that I want to but I believe that I have accomplished all that God wants me too.

Recently I have been inspired by the lives of two women who in their passing left a legacy of love and a life well lived behind. I regret that I never truly got to know either but I gladly have been inspired by their stories. So as I face 26 head on in the next month (yes, it may take me all month or more to accept it) I will do so knowing that God is leading the way and giving me examples to follow. While there are things I hope to accomplish or hope that happen in the next year, I know they may not and I will accept that knowing that God knows what’s best for me. Maybe I’ll sit here again next year wondering how could I have gotten here without accomplishing much but hopefully I next year I will be saying – “What an amazing year with God” even if it’s not what I expect out of life.

I know this is a lot of rambling but tonight I just felt this deep desire to just write – so there it is.

Orginally written: January 8, 2009