Listening

Isn’t it amazing how God speaks to us if we just take the time to listen? That’s what I’ve realized this weekend, so often it isn’t that God isn’t speaking to us it’s that we aren’t listening. I have heard His voice in so many “normal” situations this weekend that I just stand amazed tonight at my God.

He has spoken through a friend. A friend who allowed me to get away from my life for just a few hours in reality and be with her. Through our visit God really recharged me for my ministry. He gave me vision for things that I don’t think I would have seen if I hadn’t taken the time to be with this friend. I was amazed because I have called her my best friend for some time but this weekend I really realized why God has blessed me with her it’s because whenever I am with her I walk away knowing I have also been in the presence of God. She’s one of those friends that I can just be me with and she won’t judge me but love me and guide me in the right direction. And I am so thankful that God used her this weekend.

God also spoke through me through worship. If you know me, this isn’t as surprising, I love worship to me it is one of the most intimate times I have with God each week. There is something about the way music drives my mind and my soul that I just crave that time every week. But this week as we sang “I believe You’re more than enough for me.” I wrestled with that statement, I felt God saying, “If I don’t heal your dad, if I don’t bring you a husband will you still same I’m enough for you.” And I cried and I wrestled in my head knowing that I wanted to say yes but my heart was so unsure. And by the end of that song with hands raised I was able to really say, “Yes, God you and you alone will always be enough for me, I may forget it at times as life gets lonely but I know that You will always remind me that You are the only thing I could ever need.” It was a sweet surrender of the issues that plague my mind day in and day out.

Then he spoke through the words of a Christian author. I am leading a study on waiting for young adults and as I read over this week’s session God just really spoke to me in a very loud voice. There was a situation where I was considering taking matters into my own hands even though it went against what I believed. And as I read and the book talked about “short-circuiting” our waits by taking matters into our own hands I realized that God has a much better story than I could ever plan and I just have to wait.

He also spoke through a group of high school girls, in just the time I needed to hear it, reaffirming that I am doing the right thing. Their excitement for the gospel and for each other was just overwhelming tonight.

I believe that God didn’t wait to this weekend to speak all these things to me, rather it was just that I was ready and willing to hear them. I can’t tell you what got me to that place this weekend, because I don’t know that it was anything special other than I’ve been asking God to speak, to show me His plan. I don’t think there is a magical formula to hear God speak to you more. I just want to ask, are you listening? Because I know He is speaking to You tonight to, what is it that He wants to say? Give Him the chance and I’m sure He’ll use something ordinary to speak to you in an extraordinary way.

Thoughts From a Single Girl

Lately a lot of people have been curious about my love life or lack thereof. It seems I can’t go anywhere, especially church without someone asking me something or trying to set me up with someone. And while the interest I know is out of sincere concern and love for me sometimes it gets a little tiring.

What’s wrong with being friends with a guy first? Getting to know him and see if he has the potential for marriage. You know if I would have done that with some of my relationships when I was younger, I could have saved a lot of heartache. I would have realized that some of the great “Christian guys” I thought I was dating weren’t so great.

And what’s wrong with wanting the guys to do the pursuing? Yes, we live in a “modern” world but guys take note – girls like to be chased. We like you to do things for us, we like you to make us feel special and most of all we like you to ask first or to call first.

So yes, I do have a long list of qualities I want in a future husband but that is because I have been blessed with some amazing guy friends who have shown me it is possible to find those qualities in a guy, because they demonstrate those qualities in their everyday lives.

This morning Terry preached about doing everything with excellence in our jobs. But I don’t think it stops in our jobs and in our work for the church, like he said. Every area of our lives is to be lived in excellence as a testimony to how great our God is. And I believe that our relationships can often be a testimony to how great of a God we serve. And I know that I want my marriage to a testimony to the fact that I serve a big God who has forgiven me and blessed me with love that I so don’t deserve.

So girls, please take words of advice from someone older – don’t jump into a relationship but enjoy friendship. See if he has the qualities you like. Watch how he treats other girls especially his sister or mom. It will be a good sign of how he will treat you and don’t lower your standards, no matter what people say. God has someone out there for you and he will bring Him to you when the time is right. I have just heard so many girls younger than me talking about the relationships they want to be in. And some of them even quickly realizing the person doesn’t live up to their standards. Don’t settle for less than God’s best for your life. He never called us to live a substandard life but He said He came so that we might live the ABUNDANT life. And I believe that the abundant life is one where we do everything with excellence, including our relationships.
This is a lot of rambling and me processing a lot of conversations and events that have happened in my life recently. If you are a person who has said something please don’t take offence, I appreciate that you care enough and think enough of me to be that concerned for me, just realize that I am relying on God and I believe He has the most amazing plan out there.

When Love Takes Over

This week I experienced God in some pretty big ways. It was such an amazing time serving and worshipping and having fellowship with the kids. I will never be able to put all the God taught me this week into words. He renewed my passion for working with these kids. A passion which I had lost. I had forgotten why I was doing what I did, I had lost sight of how great it is to see kids grow in the love of God. But this week He reminded me of that in powerful ways.

But the sweetest lesson He taught me happened during worship. We had the privilege this week of worshipping with my friends, Ruah. All three of them have such sweet spirits and I love to watch them worship. Also, if you know me I love worship too. It has always been my favorite time of any church service. Years ago I was taught that we lift our hands in worship as an act of surrendering to God. Yet, at the beginning of this week I couldn't seem to lift my hands, especially not both of them and I could feel God calling me too. In that worship service God reminded me that I had trust Him to lift my hands in worship. In that moment I talked through everything I was struggling to trust Him with. My future spouse, if I would be teaching the rest of my life, starting a young adult Bible study and then I just gave it all to Him and raised both hands and cried. The rest of that week God challenged me not to hold onto any of those things but to always trust Him enough to surrender everything to Him.

These are only a few of the wonderful God moments that happened this week. Isn't it amazing how we serve we also learn.

Communication

Lately, I can’t seem to figure out where God is leading me. I think I understand and then I feel like He does a 180 and changes directions on me. I can’t seem to figure out what is my desire and what is His will and how they all fit together. Life has seemed so complicated in the last few weeks and I have wondered if he was even at work in my life at all.

And then I heard it – a still small that seemed as loud as someone screaming – I haven’t moved I’m still holding you together through all of this – but where have you been?

And I realized I have been so wrapped up in being busy that while it seemed I was having a relationship with God because I was doing Bible study and I was leading Bible study and I was volunteering at the church but I forgot the most important thing in all of this – to talk to Him about it all.

You can’t have a relationship without communication (Not sure how I really know that looking at my love life – but I know I have heard it) yet, I was trying to figure out the will of God in some really important stuff or things that at least seemed to be important without ever talking to Him directly about the situation. And reading this it seems so silly because I have known all along I have needed to ask for His direction but yet somehow I forgot to ask.

Life seems to get us so busy that we think we are having a relationship with God because we are doing all the “right” things but we aren’t really having a relationship because we aren’t talking to Him about anything. I think schedules must be one of Satan’s tools, because if we feel our schedules we often feel good about ourselves but if we get them to full even of good stuff we often get our focus off of God or forget to leave time to talk to Him.

So today if you haven’t talked to Him in a while take some to talk. I know I won’t get all the answers right away but it makes it a lot easier to accept when something happens when you know you’ve said – “Lord, not my will but yours be done” but don’t just say it to say – mean it, know that you really do want His will for your life – even if it means things don’t turn out like you think they should, because often they don’t because He has a bigger and better plan in mind and you won’t understand until you look back and see how He worked it all out.

Right now I don’t understand but I am trusting that He is working His will in my life – meaning that my life is bringing Him glory. And I can’t understand why in recent days He hasn’t allowed certain events in my life to happen but I can accept that He has a plan that only He knows.

God's Calling

“We often want to be called of God, then ushered painlessly into a position of service and honor, miraculously possessing the character our callings require. God doesn’t work that way. Our appointments are not about glamour. They’re about glory. God’s glory. – Beth Moore

Lately, I have been around some people who have been pretty negative about something they feel called to do. These have been different people in different situations but they all have been complaining. Complaining about the leadership they have been put under, complaining about choices that have been made, sometimes I believe complaining just for the sake of complaining. It worries me, especially when they are in the presence of people who need to hear the positive side about the church. Yet these people seem to have no filter. And they wonder why they aren’t in a leadership position – maybe its because you won’t let God get the glory out of it because you can’t take the focus off of you for just one minute and let it be on God. Take the leadership you have been placed under and learn from it, from the good and the bad, allow God to develop a godly character in you so that one day you will be able to fulfill the calling He places on your life the way He wants you to fulfill it – completely sold out to Him.

I also have people around me who are called to do something but they are afraid or unsure. Beth Moore used the above quote in reference to David when he was hiding in the wilderness from Saul. You don’t think he was scared? But God uses those moments to prepare us for the positions he wants to place us in. He uses those scary times to make us realize that we can count on him all the time, that He is never going to leave us. He is building character in us in those scary times when it seems no one there is to support us. So I say what are we waiting for? If you feel God is calling you to do something commit to it fully. Jump in!

I agree that God’s calling on our lives can be a scary thing to deal with but why would you want to run from it or to not enjoy it? Because I also believe that God’s calling is an amazing thing that can truly bring us closer to Him if we allow Him to move. But we can’t expect it to be an immediate reaction, we have to learn, to change, to be broken down and built back in His image, but what a remarkable experience that is. When you are able to say I don’t know how I do it but God just does it through me. That is when He gets the glory and isn’t that what we are living for?

Winter

Today in my way to avoid doing anything productive I decided to take a walk in the arboretum armed with my camera. This started as just a way to practice my photography skills which I know need a lot of work. But quickly this activity became more than just taking pictures. Alone in the snow and the beauty of all of this God quickly spoke to me. I was reflecting on Terry's sermon on Sunday (if you don't attend Breiel you can listen to the sermon here - http://www.breielchurch.org/cgi-bin/gx.cgi/applogic+ftcontentserver?pagename=faithhighway/10000/8000/154BR/scmedia&type=mediaplayer&loc=www.breielchurch.org/media/media/mediaplayer.php&id=2010021407023754F178if you are single I highly recommend it.)

My life hasn't always gone as I thought it should but today I was reminded that God has a plan. Just as I don't like all this snow but today I got lost in the beauty of it. And sometimes even when life seems as if its not going as it should we need to sit back and enjoy the beauty of life. We should take every season as it comes - the good and the bad. But be honest with God through it all - He longs to hear it from you. That is what I realized today as I walked through the snow and talked to God - He just wanted to hear it from me - all of it the good and the bad. And He wants to hear it from you too.

While I was walking today I looked at my feet which I couldn't see because they burried in the snow and I smiled because I thought - that is this season of my life. Fully in winter, for about seven years now. Life has seemed almost dead but I was reminded today that this season has a purpose too. God is preparing me for what the future holds but He is also making me beautiful in His eyes.

This has been another one of those rambling posts - but it was just so beautiful and I could just hear God speaking as I walked through the snow that I wanted to share it.

Church

Recently I was asked if it was wrong not to go to church. And while I managed an answer of no as long as you are having fellowship with other believers. Which is what I believe but I know that the person I was having this conversation with realized how stunned I was by the comment that they were no longer attending church and since then I have wrestled with why that stunned me before. I have never thought you had to go to church but I obviously have deep feelings for the church. And tonight I realized why



In the closing words of a prayer during small group I realized I have fallen in love with the people at my church. They have supported me in the good times and bad. They have prayed with me. And I have prayed for them. They have been my mentors and I have mentored some of them. Basically these people are family. I think it is more than what we would consider fellowship because I think of fellowship as hanging out with people but the people I feel this way about know the real me. They have seen me be myself, being truly honest in worship with God. And that is what I love about the people of the church, they let me be me.

So I agree that maybe you don't have to be in church. But I encourage you to make sure you have people you can be honest with. People who will know the real you. You need people you will challenge and people who will challenge you. That is what the Christian walk is about. Surrounding you with people who keep you going - how you do that is up to you.